I hate life. That is a fact I cannot leave behind. Somehow I'm the happiest person I know. I never see anyone else just walking down the hallway at university smiling. It makes me sad.
Happiness is what makes me survive. I have a battle inside that is basically a fight between "just give up" and "hey tomorrow is still around the corner." Even though I have way more on the "just give up" side of things, I chose not to. Even though they're not in the forecast, so many things are possible. One day I could fall in love. One day I could get a job that gets me outside. One day, perhaps, I could travel somewhere for my job, outdoors, with the person I love. Who knows. The mystery is what drives me on.
I remember when my last relationship was about to begin, right before our first date. I was scared, I almost called it off (I already had a month before but then finally decided to do it), but the mystery of wanting to know what was on the next page of my life drove me to go. This is why I take opportunities.
This mystery is driving me in my current endeavour, attending university. The reason I don't party and drink is because I don't want to miss a single moment of this life that I have been given. I'm not religious, and I don't believe I have a second chance. Choices I make now affect me in the future.
The point of this is, never close the book. Keep it going, if only to know what is happening tomorrow.
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