A Bad Case of Nostalgia

Today I went for a hike up Mt. Dufferin in Kenna Cartwright Park, just beside the university. I’ve never hiked the trail I hiked today. The friend who I hoped would join me ditched and went home to Chase for the weekend, but that was her family’s choice. Can’t hold that against her. 

In the end, I’m glad I went alone. The entire way I was engulfed in aromas, sounds and senses that threw me back, sometimes more than ten years. Walking along the trails, I crushed up some Big Sage and Partridge Foot to remind myself of the first days helping my dad build out cabin in Eastgate, and crushed up Pine Needles to remind myself of travelling to Fort Steel and Christina Lake. 

The biggest one, though, was the frost on the ground. Kamloops is starting to get cold, I’m expecting snow early next month if not sooner. This morning was the first morning of frost on campus. Hiking at four o’clock, I came around a bend to see the ground caked in ice and frost. I just stopped and thought a minute. What did it remind me of?

Kamloops, being in a different climate than Langley (my hometown), feels colder earlier. I was having a sort of “flashback” of something but I couldn’t put my finger on it. It was some time around January I think - late january. Myself and my girlfriend, who lived outside of Fort Langley, would walk the four-kilometres into town every time I visited. That time, we chose to walk to the old ferry terminal across the island that was replaced by a giant toll bridge only a few years before. The terminal is (and was already at that time) in great disrepair. 

The sun was setting when we were out there and the sky became a brilliant pink. The photo still has a special meaning to me, I don’t think I’ll ever forget the brisk air, the smell of trees and the quiet putter of the city in the background. Today I experienced that again and realized that I will never have that feeling in that situation, no matter how much I want to, ever again. That hit me hard. I realized that being in university, now being in charge of most of my own life, a door has closed on that part of my life, I can only look back on it now, not relive it as it was.