Today, I am writing my first midterm for Biology 1110. I predict that the outcome of this exam will be less than optimal, possibly dismal. Resistance is futile. Prepare to be assimilated.
My problem is that I hate studying. Even when I am studying, I don't remember anything because I'm not enjoying myself. I figured out why while I was writing an English in-class assessment essay on the first day of English 1100. I won't type out the entire essay, it's long and boring, and earned me a 5/5. I'll summarize it as best I can, however:
Essentially, while writing this essay, the bad side and good side of my ADHD came out: I realized that due to my ADHD, I couldn't focus on anything that didn't truly grasp my interest. I have never cared about biology. I never will. However, as soon as he mentioned enzyme inhibiting nerve agents, I had to research it, because the history of chemical weapons is something that fascinates (as well as horrifies) me. I have started developing a technique to make everything interesting in some way. How did I really realize all this?
Last year, in geography, which is by far the best high school course, I always had my tablet out. I would Wikipedia everything Mr. C would say. Everything. With that, I earned my 98% in the class, because I enjoyed reading it, and I went more into depth. Even though I didn't remember the deeper details of the whole thing, I would more readily be able to recall the simpler parts. Basically, if I'm not interested, I will never revisit it.
So, today, I'm sitting her in the last few hours before a midterm exam starring at my textbook and Wikipedia-ing everything I don't care about and finding something that I do care about. If you have ADHD, try it.
I have a slight and sinking feeling that I'm going to fail this test. If I do, then so be it. I learn more on tests than studying, I learned that in physics last year. If only re-tests were a reality in university.
Tomorrow I have my last midterm of the first half of semester. That would be wonderful; however, second-half midterms begin next week. University, for the first month says sweetly, "Don't worry, child, quizzes are few and far between" but fails to mention that once midterms start they don't end until about three weeks before finals. Then finals begin, and everything goes to hell and people start drinking too much coffee.
Time to change topic: Marijuana.
Pot. Cannabis. I don't care what you call it, it's gross. For some reason, for English we have to find (and cite in MLA format) ten articles about marijuana that don't have the words drug, pot, marijuana, cannabis, prescription or medicine in the title. I think that's impossible, personally. Not going to happen. But, of course, Joel has made it worth five percent of our overall grade in the course. I need a B to be honourably discharged from the English course next semester, so I can't give it up.
In response to what happened this morning on the test, I utterly failed. There is no way in hell I passed. On the other hand, I am becoming more and more confident in calculus. Maybe I'll become a calculus major and teach calculus to people who will go on to teach calculus.
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